People Grow Up

  Today, 27th November 2014 marks the end of my high school student. The day I've always been waiting for when I was in Form 1. The day I've always imagine how/what'd happen to me.
  Fun. That's all how I could describe my day today. F-U-N.
It's so sick how time flies so fast. I mean I still remember complaining to people about my SPM is starting so soon, now it just ended. Sick, isn't it?
  Frequently, we heard mostly adults saying that it's sad to leave school because once we put our step into a new world where we meet new surrounding, we have so many things to think of, to take care of and we have our own responsibilities. But, people grow up and time is always ticking, non stop.
It wasn't our choice. It's just happened to be this way. And most importantly, I just hope to be more independent and to be alert more about whatever is happening around me. InsyaAllah
  Alhamdulillah for everything. Thank you to everyone who have made so much memories with me for these past 5 years. I'm glad for every good and bad things that happened among or between us. Those memories gave us a mark. A mark that is also a lesson for us. Thank you for everything, you have made me, me today and I appreciate every single of you. The ones who came and gone, the ones who came and stay, I owe you and I appreciate you guys.
  I don't really want to talk about my last day or my school life here/today. I was just letting you guys know that my last day of school has come and I won't be coming back.
  P/S: The picture above is me and my best friend, Syahira. We met on the first day of school during Form 1 & we end our last day of school together.
  P/S: SPM dah habis, apa lagi? Tidur lambat layan Korean Dramas la
  P/S: I really don't know what to do without going to school anymore...

Write

  We write when we are in the most depressed mood or the happiest. We write when we are in the most confuse state and ax. I'm wondering for all the things I have today, now. Either should I learn to appreciate every single thing whether it's good and bad or let go of the things that've always been bad. A bit sad really, how we thought it was beautiful. No, we actually expect everything to be beautiful. I really don't know if I were to let go things I think I should, will it be the best choice for me, for us?

Housewife

  Speaking of housewife makes you think I'm too young to be talking about something like this. Haha, yes I am young. I am absolutely annoyed with the fact people look down on someone who works as a housewife. I've actually dreaming myself marry to a man whom I love and be a good housewife to him and my children. Housewife is a kind of job, I call it as a job. Because either way, a housewife supposedly received money from his husband or maybe something that is worth a money.
  As a muslim, we call it Nafkah. And this kind of money which is paid to the housewife isn't a type of bullying or whatever negative statement you may want to say. It is more like to show a couple who is willing to build a household together (you could please google or ask the elders for better information). Housewife does a lot of tasks. Job = task. The question is, why do people look down on them, housewives?
  I have no intention to fight against whoever who might hurt with what I'm trying to say but I really do want to know why do you people look down on them? A housewife does a lot of tasks and I believe is more tiring than a married woman who works more than 20 hours per day. I too believe, any tasks in our home will never be done. Not until you die yourself.
  Today, in Facebook. We all know how public that site is. I saw a woman, I believe she is married. From what I saw, she received a comment from we-should-not-mention-who-is-she saying that a housewife is stupid for staying at home. As we all agree, we  judge based on what we see. Not based on what we know. Most of us, agree?
  Let we-should-not-mention-who-is-she be an immature woman. This immature woman said that a housewife who stayed at home has nothing better to do than taking care of her child. She added, a housewife has no income money because well, where can you get money if you don't work under government or private company? Minus the fact you received money from your husband because this immature woman thinks that money is still your husband's money as it was in the first place.
  This immature woman too said that if every women work we could dress up beautifully to go outside of the house and meet new people. These are better than to stay at home doing chores and you'll be smelling stinky as you're sweating. Yucks! She added, a housewife can never buy something for herself as she has no money. I disagree. Sustenance comes from The Creator and He knows best. Also, I think we have to accept whatever it takes because that's life. Good things come from good stuff. But then again, wouldn't it be nice if our husband surprises us with something beautiful  like a cute handbag that you loved? I don't know about you but I wouldn't mind.
  More, the immature woman said housewives will surely degraded as some said their husbands gave too much hard times but that is between relationships and I think that is something personal. I can't help that, can I? She added, people outside the world will think housewives will have no knowledge as they have no job to earn money. Who said that? Maybe they just want to focus more on building their children's future with something colorful.
  Blaming our children having lack of knowledge because of them never trying hard is not the biggest problem. Because I personally think, children who are lack of knowledge caused by their parents who lack of time spending with them too. Let's not talk about this now.
  I was wondering, what does she meant when she said we can only dress up beautifully outside but not inside the house? I mean, I've been living in this odd world for almost 18 years and I've always see Mom dressing up so lovely like an angel in the house. Maybe not just for Dad but also for us kids and for herself. Why would you want someone else to see your beauty when you can have your husband to see your beauty? Are you that desperate? Your husband's attention is worth thousands of men.
  To end this, I think being a housewife isn't a mistake. It's a matter of different people has different minds and we have no rights to stop them. Come to think of it again, this is life. People will never satisfied with our choices. Like me, I want to join Childhood Education Development and be a kindergarten teacher or open a Day Care for Children and Old Folks. I also would like to work as an accountant as my part time or as a part of my fun job. InsyaAllah. But I know myself and these are one of the nice things I would love to do/be. Maybe in the future after I deliver my baby, I wouldn't want to work as I know my weakness. I know I'm dreaming too much but please don't stop me. Dreaming makes me happy hehe.

  I hope people who look down on me or people like me should just stop because we never really care about them being so "up" anyway.

SPM #1

  It's today. The day we have been waiting for - SPM Day #1

It surprises me that I don't feel nervous or shaky this morning. Just like the usual school days, I went to school with normal feeling, an angelic smile ( ha ha )  Everything was normal, I think. I mean, I do feel nervous but the nervous-feeling wasn't that bad I expected it to be yknow? 

  I thought I would faint or feel like dying or stomach ache or diarrhea or vomiting. It turns out all of my thoughts were a joke. Hehe

  Today was BM, both papers. Paper 1 was okay and I managed to answer every questions but not paper 2.. Paper 2 was a hell, for me. Some said it was easy, well good for you then! :) I'm glad I've done my BM papers and I would never wish to come back and do it again. Another 8 more subjects to go, wish me luck! 

Last day of High School

  Today, 30th October 2014 is the last day of my high school. Well, before SPM starts in 3 more days. Ha let's not talk about SPM for this entry.

  I have a lot of memories in this school for the past 5 years, really. Let me make it short;

-> Form 1. 

     This was 2010. I haven't wear tudung yet this time. I had short maggie-looking hair and I've been called Maggie as my middle name. Honestly, it hurts me before and I used to be so sad about my hair as it wasn't nice, at all! haha but as time passes by, I like my hair and also, that Maggie name. This year, my classmates were Syahira, Haaziq, Izwan and many more but the ones I was close in class were them. We did stupid things together, though. We got ourselves our silly nicknames - hehe like Ayam, Kuda and I'm not sure what was Izwan's nickname but I'm sure he had one! We all had one. This year too, we had Fourian Fare Carnival. Fare/Fair?.. Every classes needed to sell something either food, drinks or even games. My class was to sell food and a few Hand Craft stuffs. 2010's Fourian Fare was held on a Saturday. So, 5 days before our carnival, Syahira, Haaziq and Izwan skipped school and came over to my house. They were helping me to bake my muffins that we were going to sell on carnival day! Yes, I was known because of my muffins - Vanilla, Chocolate & Mix. This year too, I met my best friend for the first time. She's Syahira :) As for Haaziq, we knew each other since Primary School but we didn't really talk back then. We only knew through our name. Alhamdulillah for being Haaziq's classmate during Form 1 and we became close. Closest, indeed. 

--> Form 2.

      Heh, I don't have much memories about my form 2 life. I didn't really enjoy it. Oh! But this year on my birthday, I started to wear tudung. Haaziq & Izwan were not the same class with me anymore. But, I met a new buddy. Her name is, Dania. She's now one of my friends that I can rely on, most of the time la - :b Then, we made friends with Thaneswar, Jason Ooi and Raymond. We were all like a gang la. We made noise, we played Ceper (Penutup Botol) Haih, I don't really remember my Form 2 school life.  But let see... I remember going to school 2 hours earlier because Haaziq & I went to Brumbys for brunch. I remember Haaziq bought Subway for me, Syahira and Jason Ooi. 

--> Form 3.

       Ha, this is the best year of all years! :) Haaziq, Syahira, Dania, Harvin, Jason and Thanes were my classmates. I like this year because it was fun through out the year. Hm, nothing can describe my form 3 life, I guess. We played around most of the time and when we sat for our PMR, semua gelabah. But, we were all just kids enjoying life thinking PMR was just a test. 

--> Form 4.

       A beginning to a new chapter of school life as most of my friends got separate from me and got to different classes based on their stream. Like me, I chose Arts Stream. I took Accounts, Perdagangan and Ekonomi. Also this year, I don't know any of my classmates. I used to hate everyone of them. Mostly, Imran. Don't ask me why. Since I didn't know my classmates, I was a nerd. I sat in front, studied real hard and did well on most of my studies. This year was a serious year though and sad. But after about 7 months, I started to get to know my classmates During recess, I still got to be with Syahira and Dania. And Haaziq accompany me going back home.

--> Form 5.

      Today. A little tired yet worth it kind of life. Though I find it boring to go to school for a long time but I think I'm not ready to face a new world. I'm not ready to take SPM too. A lot of things happened this year. Sad, happy. Good, bad. A lot of things my friends and I went through together. As for my classmates, I now love everyone equally. I don't hate Imran anymore too. In fact, he helped me with a lot of stuff. Thank you. As for my other friends, they think I've changed. Maybe yes. I can't tell whether it's good or bad myself but you judge. This week since it was like the last days, I kind of break a few rules. Few silly and light rules. Like, skipped classes, lied to teacher that I didn't come but actually I did but I went to the library the whole day, used the boys' stairs and a few more. I'm going to miss SMK USJ 4. I'm going to miss the environment, the weird people, the angry yet loving teachers. Now that I have to realised SPM is here that lead to my future. Please, I'm hoping for at least 5As and above. Amin.

  Today I went to apologize to most of the teachers that were there. Some went home early so I couldn't meet them. Today too, I went to apologize to most of friends. Cry, sad, tears everywhere but today was really a productive day and I would do anything to turn back this day. Time to hit the books, bye bye. 

Entry kosong

Assalamualaikum para-para pembaca, eh? Hi.

Aku bukan nak share apa ke benda sangat tapi sekarang waktu aku berehat dari belajar. Kemon lah, SPM kot. Takkan tak belajar? Tapi aku tak ada la belajar macam budak budak genius ni. Aku kan average, kalau dapat 5A pun dah bersyukur ibarat budak class pertama dapat straight As. Hehe, tapi betul. Fakta tu tentang diri aku. Hahaha

Bila fikir balik, sebenarnya kan aku banyak kali diperli oleh kawan kawan. "Belajar la, asyik online je." "Tak ingin A ke?" "Amboi relaxnya kau bila SPM nak dekat" Hmph, sakitnya lah hati bila diperli macam gitu. Tapi kalau mulut orang dah macam tu, kita sabar je la kan ._.

Mesti ramai yang tengah bersungguh-sungguh belajar sampai berazam taknak tidur sampai esok pagi. Kalau boleh, nak berjaga je sampai SPM habis kan? Hahaha - tapi tak boleh jugak. Kita kena relax, bertenang menghadapi semua ni. Kalau tak tidur kang, buat penat otak pulak. Bukan setakat mata jadi macam panda tau.

Kalau korang semua tanya aku, aku tak ready sangat la untuk SPM ni. Bukan apa, aku jadi risau tak dapat jawab. Cuak di situ. Satu lagi, aku bukan boleh terima lagi yang aku akan tinggalkan zaman sekolah aku dah haha haih. Sedih la, lagi lagi aku selama ni baik, tak buat jahat lagi dekat sekolah. Teringin nak langgar peraturan sementara ada beberapa hari berada di sekolah kan - Hehe.

Nak tambahkan lagi cerita, aku tak bukak lagi subjek Perdagangan & Science. Kalau boleh nak drop dah dari awal tapi ramai cikgu cakap aku boleh dan aku tak boleh putus asa tapi aku rasa aku kenal diri aku. Aku memang rasa aku tak boleh nak jawab. Takot juga kalau Fail... Malu.

Ok dah, jumpa next entry. Salam

Stressed-up feeling

Assalamualaikum, hi.

  A few more days to SPM. Yeah, SPM. A bit shocking, eh? Well, I'm going to take it easy. Not because I don't care. I do care. But, the more I think about SPM, the more stressed up I am. I don't like to see myself stressed up & unhappy. The fact SPM scares my friends and they are facing it with stressed-up-feeling, I feel pity. I'm not indirecting someone though. I'm here to speak out what my mind is speaking. Also, this happen to be my blog, isn't it?
  9 more days to SPM, they expect me to stay and sleep with my books for 24 hours a day. Come on, where's the fun? Ha ha. I'm not smart, I consider myself an average or you consider myself as stupid. I once see myself getting below 4As for SPM. I hope it's not going to happen but then again, I keep my faith in my one and only life savior, Allah. 
  If you ask me, I do study. I do try my best to stuffed up every little things I read into my brain and I too, believe in Allah. Let's say about my dream getting only 4As or below, and if that really happened, what can I do? If my sustenance is that, can I change? If I can, I would change for the better but who am I to fight Allah's choice?
  So, here I am trying to explain to those who throw their stress to me. I don't chase for straight As as I think my personality doesn't require a straight As. But, I chase for my dream. And I do trying hard to chase it. As hard as I can, as hard as you think.

My dream / my ambition is to open a nursery for children. If I am qualified enough, I would open an old folks' home and look after them old folks. I enjoy listen to grandfathers' stories. As for children, I enjoy teaching them basics and play silly games with them. That's kind of job I want to do. As for qualification, the college wanted me to score 4-5 credits. InsyaAllah I will. Please, pray for me. I'm begging you to forgive me for every smallest to the biggest mistakes I've ever done to you. I wouldn't want to ask for more, I just want to score and with the results I have, I would like to continue my dream. 
  Thank you.