Perjalanan pulang.

Assalamualaikum.

Dulu bulan 12, tahun 2014, ada makhluk tuhan ni nak terbang to UK for almost 3 months. Time tu rasa down gila, sedih sangat sebab risau macam macam. Antaranya: risau tak dapat contact lagi lepas ni lepastu tak pasal pasal bila balik, hubungan dah hancur. Hahaha.

Secondly, risau kalau apa apa jadi, kot salah satu terpaksa tinggalkan antara satu, so risau lah. Sedih. Tapi Alhamdulillah so far, takda berita buruk macam tu.

Tengok tengok selalu je contact. Almost everyday sembang, share our stories. Tapi tak boleh lama, sebab I'm busy with work and house works and he's busy with his familly matters over there. 

Now, in less than 24 hours, he's coming back to tanah air dia. Sekejap je rasa masa tu berjalan. Ha bukan jalan dah. Masa berlari pantas. Hopefully kalau takda apa apa esok dan diberi izin, dapat la jumpa lagi. Ajak sekampong datang melawat dia hahaha.

Because he misses his friends and his home. He needs to be back to feel alive.

Wahai Haaziq, semoga perjalanan anda selamat kembali. Ingat, awak tu bermusafir. Baca la doa doa musafir. Result spm pun lagi 3 hari, doa la bagi result tu lawa lawa. Fuh, banggakan ibu bapa. Keng keng. Hopefully I score too, insyaAllah. Oh well, still so good to hear you're coming back!!!!

Dulu you like to pantun,
Sekarang I too dah belajar how to pantun.
Nanti bila jumpa kita lawan,
Kalau kalah jangan kita pulak jadi lawan.
Orang nama Ahmad ni selalu dipanggil Mamat,
Yang penting sekarang perjalanan ke sini selamat.

Ok bye, nak siap pergi kenduri Aqiqah. Kambeng kambeng, mbekk ~

How are you feeling? Asks the invisible

Content tak ada kena mengena dengan yang tengah pengsan, yang tengah bernafas dan yang telah tinggalkan dunia ni.

Nak cerita tentang perasaan diri dan apa yang aku nampak. I realised that even if you have planning inside your mind sampai nak terkeluar dah otak, people don't see your good side. They'll get mad and judge only your bad side.

Let say you have manage your time on certain things and you have planned well a day before, and on the day itself, you do everything in order, as planned. Of course you don't share to people things you planned. It's for yourself.

And when people came, and they saw you didn't do well, they judge. Why? Because they only see the bad side. They don't see the good side hidden in you. Our heart broke into pieces, we got hurt because no one see our good side. But hey. Allah does.

If I were to do survey, I am sure out of 50 people, 49 of them would say that they'll either protest or stop talking or cry when people broke their heart. We are humans and humans would cry if their hearts are broken. If you don't, then you have healed your pain or you just don't care when people hurt you.

We got sad when people we thought they'd understand us don't understand us. We got mad. But what can we do? What can they do? Some people even wish for us not to be born. But trust my words, we all never wish for something like this happen. Life goes on. Yang dah terlepas tu dah terlambat.

I thank Allah and I appreciate Him for having to see both of my side. And it is Him to judge. To know people got mad when they see my bad side, I wonder if they ask themselves "Will anyone got mad when they see my bad side?" Humans are never perfect. I like to get to know an imperfect person perfectly. Because I am just so tired to live to please anyone of you. I'm sorry I have let you down when I don't do things you asked me to. Please stop hoping so much from me, it is killing me. For once, ask me "How are you feeling?"

Assalamualaikum.
I warn you people who reads this. Never play a silly joke on me because I am so emotional knowing my SPM result is coming in less than 4 days. Because not everyone only sees your bad side though. Haha bye

Bila batuk, teringin la makan ice cream

Assalamualikum.

   Teringat masa zaman Form 3 ke Form 4, time tu it was dua-tiga bulan sebelum bulan puasa. Kalut la nak ganti puasa kan. Pastu, satu hari tu aku ganti la puasa. Sekali dekat sekolah, dorang buat Hari Koperasi pulak. Menangis aku tak dapat makan free food. Though it was just an ice cream.

  Kalau hari koperasi, selalunya dorang bagi free ice cream. Jadi yang puasa macam aku tak dapat la makan. Tapi dulu zaman tak mengerti lagi kot. Tak mengerti hukum hakam agama sangat. Tapi serious, dulu ingatkan kalau diberi rezeki makanan, kena buka puasa hahaha. Sorry, tak tahu apa apa. Masih lagi dahaga ilmu.

  So, mesti la I wanted the ice cream tu, konon nak buka puasa lagi lagi hari tu cuaca panas terik. Merayu dekat kawan-kawan nak ice cream tapi tak dapat sebab mostly dorang tahu I puasa. Sebab si Haaziq komplot dgn gang dia, bagitau semua "jangan bagi Azhani makan ice cream harini. Dia puasa. Dia menangis ke merangkak ke, biar kan" fuh hati time tu jatuh sakit. Tinggal nak call ambulance je. Eh tak lawak.

 Yang lagi best. Ada jugak la dua tiga kawan, tegur cakap tahan je lah puasa tu, nak buat macam mana. Pastu si Haaziq dan lain pulak jahat tayang dekat orang yang dia dpt makan ice cream. Ada yang dapat makan 2 sebab one of it was mine. Pergh, paneh rasa.
  Last last kena tahan je laa. Takkan tak tahan kot, haha. Esok tu tak puasa, bila time rehat, tiga kawan belanja ice cream. Ingat lagi, dorang perli suruh makan ice cream banyak banyak. Tu kalut pulak la nak habiskan ice cream. Haha 
  Haih my high school memories. Rindu jugak sekolah though I don't really miss the people there :)