To think about it then, i'd be so surprised when somebody who knows me for over 6 years could leave me for someone he just met 6 days ago.
I held grudges. Fuh, time tu memang boleh tahu tahap kesabaran tak tinggi. Sebab dendam. Tengah marah lagi. Syaitan semua seronok dgn aku, astarghfirullah. Siap naik angin, cemburu etc. Pastu, dia pun marah balik nak protect that 6-days-person he just met.
After a week of that specific drama, I let it go. Because i remind myself, 6 or 10 years of friendship but if only them who mock your journey to your dreams won't worth your time. We've finished our high school and i believe that we build our own journey of future/life by ourselves. And if there is someone who gives negative vibes or don't support us, then we shall throw them in a bin. Because I guarantee that there are many more humans who give you positive vibes as well as support. And of course, your family takes part too.
I held him still because I thought I was strong enough to make him from wrong to right but, he was stronger. So he won & I lost. He gave up on listening but I didn't give up on helping.
I have never thought I'd wasted my time getting to know a person. It is nice to know someone either they are bad or good. And I also don't think a person is a bad person. It's a matter of choice to pick them into your life or throw away from your life. And we mention people who we throw away from our lives as bad people.
As months passes by, I met him again. I thought I would see hate in him but Alhamdulillah, nope. It was a moment where I said, "Aku kenal dia ni tapi aku macam tak tahu nak cakap apa dengan dia" So, aku buat bodoh. I literally said to myself "I managed to walk again after what had happened between us"
Like really, you thought you'd as though couldn't live because he was a part of you for years but hey you lived! You felt so glad that it was only for a moment you'd get mad. And after that, no more. You don't even feel or think you care or bother. You'd only feel proud for you have gone through something painful. And then it's like you are trying to get to know a new person now.
You wonder why would you be mad last time. You wonder if it was you last time. You had so many things in mind because you confused yourself!
Though we know and understand 6 years or 6 days or even 6 hours, ni semua takdir Tuhan. Jodoh semua dekat tangan Tuhan. And yes, it was really painful, after all. You would want to wish you'll never feel that pain anymore. But it was a lesson. A pain gains your lesson. And a pain teaches you something.
The next thing you know, you are confused to say Hi again or just walk. Because, I am paranoid. Like a frog who gets bitten by a very dangerous animal, that frog would be afraid of getting to know that animal again.
But I guess, that silly. We control our emotions not emotions control us. So I think a Hi conversation to being friends are perfectly fine :-)
In the end, it was just a story. But where and when must we begin again?
Till we meet again, mate. My prayers are always with you.
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