7th March

Assalamualaikum.

Exactly two years ago, this date, 7th March  2013, a pretty boy surprised me in class and asked me whether I liked him or not. This year, he more likely surprised me with this piece of beauty! I appreciate it so much, thank you :)  I wanted this purse since the first day it published, I told him if only I have money to buy this and yay! I finally got it. 

I don't collect purse. Before I had this purse, I used a Celine purse that Mom bought for me as my 14th Birthday gift. Also, I had a  Coach purse given by Mom way before my 14th birthday. Absolutely beautiful and it still has it's beauty.  And I haven't changed my purse ever since, just between those two. There'll be time I used for travel, there'll be time I used for shopping and everyday use. There was once, I changed every 6 months... Haha. 

Story about my purse:

I lied. I didn't tell him I wanted this exactly purse of course! Psst, why would I? :P I told him I needed/wanted a purse with phone holder inside. There was a few of my choices beside Fossil, but I don't have enough money to buy and I was just planning to buy one. I was in deeply serious on collecting my own money to buy my own purse, ok. Then  two months back, he asked me to pick a design! So I picked something more like childish-cute-silly yet feminine like design. He disagree, and suggested me with a design like the above picture. Based on the design he sent through whatsapp, it looked pretty ugly and I said NO. I don't want that ugly design! Also, I asked him if I could buy something from another Brand, he said NO. Just, Fossil. I think Fossil has got to be his favourite shop...

  And now, he's surprised me with the purse I wanted with the design he wanted and it looks prettier in life! I swear it is so pretty inside and out. Sorry, no picture taken from the inside purse. Haha. I couldn't be more happier :)

  Thank you for this gift. I wish you had never make a mistake like how you did last year. Things were rough between us that time, eh? Haih. May Allah protects us always and bless us ok! Bye

Pitcha

4 years old student's pet dog died, named Pitcha. It's a male.

She took English and ada flashcard gambar dog. I asked her "Do you have a dog?" She said "Yes, Maya and Pitcha. But Pitcha died, he went to Heaven. I think God called him to come back home. Pitcha needs to be with God"

Amazing. Then I asked "Are you sure that God called him home?" She said "yes, very sure. Heaven is the best place although I haven't been there but I know one day I will. God needs me too but not now. Maybe soon. Now I just want to prepare everything and learn everything so I can tell God in Heaven."

Topic dah tutup. 5 minit kemudian she sambung "If you don't know this, let me tell you. One day, God will call you and you have to be there for Him. He is all alone in Heaven, He needs more friends. Teacher Hani has to prepare good things and be there for God. In Heaven, they provide so many things better than Earth!"

Speechless lah.
I asked her "Are you sad Pitcha is gone?" She said "yes I was for a moment. Then I realised, I have Mummy, Daddy, Maya and many more. God is alone. It is better for Pitcha to stay beside God than me"

Oh satu lagi. I did ask her "What do you mean by God called Pitcha home?" She said "Well our home was originally placed only God knows, we only shift to the Earth and we only borrow things from the Earth. We have to give back to God one day  because everything belongs to Him, including my heart"

Comment?

Fly into the book, our high school love story.

I can't lie and I don't want to. I admit I have a crush on the same silly guy I liked ever since we were Form 1. Haha

Anyways, we've finally in the year of 2015 which make us 18 years old this year. Obviously, we would be thinking of college life, which university to apply and so forth. It upsets me a little how time flies and we couldn't talk as much as we did few years back! Life goes on.

I know this sounds pathetic in many ways. But I  like to be given informations about a person I like. Where he goes, what is he doing and who he is meeting. Not every single day I would ask for information. Maybe, once a week. But yeah, it is always better if i have known his schedule time..right? But that just doesn't give him some space for himself.

College life is starting. Very soon, i'm scared of our different times and our lack of social. I wouldn't say im overthinking over this but if only I can know the answer before I even question about it. Haih.

Well actually, I know we could have our time and spend together but.... Ok bye.

2A+ 1A, 4B+ 1B, 1C+

Keputusan SPM 2014, sayalah calon SPM 2014.

Alhamdulillah, time has passed. Ingat lagi tak I was being emotional thinking of my result. Wondering if I did good or bad. Haha benda tu semua paid off after I scored.

3As? I am so happy and proud of it. Don't follow me but I never target for straight As. 3As were my minimum target just because I need 3 Credits for my college course. Lepas ni juniors, target banyak As and study well.

5Bs? Ni bangga jugak sebab never really score for these subjects. Except: Maths and Ekonomi. Drop a little for these subjects but that's alright. I really proud  that I did the best.

1C+?!!! Ni sakit hati sikit aa, ada ke my English C?! Haih, bukan nak blame anything but I admit I did my literature quite bad. Time buat tu, I said to myself "I gave up on this section" dosa la tu. Haha shouldn't have give up. So lesson learned. Never give up.

Maths, Accounts and English have always been my favourite subjects. Out of these 3, only 1 I got A which is Accounts.

Funny when subjects you didn't expect to get an A, you dapat. Like my accounts and perdagangan. Ingat lagi, I cried after I did those papers. Sebab susah sangat. I skipped quite alot of questions yet I scored A for both. Syukur, Allah sangat hebat.

My plans after this? Relax, tunggu abang balik from his university. Lepak lepak dengan dia sampai puas. Travel satu dunia, lepastu baru fikir college and that would be around next year, 2016.

My college course? I loved kids, babies. I enjoyed being with them, enjoyed guiding them and develoo their minds. So like I said earlier, I want to take Early Childhood Development course in my college. satu je masalah sekarang. Do you guys have any suggestions for my college? The best one, the nearest to my house cause I never want to leave this house hahaha.

Sekian.

Perjalanan pulang.

Assalamualaikum.

Dulu bulan 12, tahun 2014, ada makhluk tuhan ni nak terbang to UK for almost 3 months. Time tu rasa down gila, sedih sangat sebab risau macam macam. Antaranya: risau tak dapat contact lagi lepas ni lepastu tak pasal pasal bila balik, hubungan dah hancur. Hahaha.

Secondly, risau kalau apa apa jadi, kot salah satu terpaksa tinggalkan antara satu, so risau lah. Sedih. Tapi Alhamdulillah so far, takda berita buruk macam tu.

Tengok tengok selalu je contact. Almost everyday sembang, share our stories. Tapi tak boleh lama, sebab I'm busy with work and house works and he's busy with his familly matters over there. 

Now, in less than 24 hours, he's coming back to tanah air dia. Sekejap je rasa masa tu berjalan. Ha bukan jalan dah. Masa berlari pantas. Hopefully kalau takda apa apa esok dan diberi izin, dapat la jumpa lagi. Ajak sekampong datang melawat dia hahaha.

Because he misses his friends and his home. He needs to be back to feel alive.

Wahai Haaziq, semoga perjalanan anda selamat kembali. Ingat, awak tu bermusafir. Baca la doa doa musafir. Result spm pun lagi 3 hari, doa la bagi result tu lawa lawa. Fuh, banggakan ibu bapa. Keng keng. Hopefully I score too, insyaAllah. Oh well, still so good to hear you're coming back!!!!

Dulu you like to pantun,
Sekarang I too dah belajar how to pantun.
Nanti bila jumpa kita lawan,
Kalau kalah jangan kita pulak jadi lawan.
Orang nama Ahmad ni selalu dipanggil Mamat,
Yang penting sekarang perjalanan ke sini selamat.

Ok bye, nak siap pergi kenduri Aqiqah. Kambeng kambeng, mbekk ~

How are you feeling? Asks the invisible

Content tak ada kena mengena dengan yang tengah pengsan, yang tengah bernafas dan yang telah tinggalkan dunia ni.

Nak cerita tentang perasaan diri dan apa yang aku nampak. I realised that even if you have planning inside your mind sampai nak terkeluar dah otak, people don't see your good side. They'll get mad and judge only your bad side.

Let say you have manage your time on certain things and you have planned well a day before, and on the day itself, you do everything in order, as planned. Of course you don't share to people things you planned. It's for yourself.

And when people came, and they saw you didn't do well, they judge. Why? Because they only see the bad side. They don't see the good side hidden in you. Our heart broke into pieces, we got hurt because no one see our good side. But hey. Allah does.

If I were to do survey, I am sure out of 50 people, 49 of them would say that they'll either protest or stop talking or cry when people broke their heart. We are humans and humans would cry if their hearts are broken. If you don't, then you have healed your pain or you just don't care when people hurt you.

We got sad when people we thought they'd understand us don't understand us. We got mad. But what can we do? What can they do? Some people even wish for us not to be born. But trust my words, we all never wish for something like this happen. Life goes on. Yang dah terlepas tu dah terlambat.

I thank Allah and I appreciate Him for having to see both of my side. And it is Him to judge. To know people got mad when they see my bad side, I wonder if they ask themselves "Will anyone got mad when they see my bad side?" Humans are never perfect. I like to get to know an imperfect person perfectly. Because I am just so tired to live to please anyone of you. I'm sorry I have let you down when I don't do things you asked me to. Please stop hoping so much from me, it is killing me. For once, ask me "How are you feeling?"

Assalamualaikum.
I warn you people who reads this. Never play a silly joke on me because I am so emotional knowing my SPM result is coming in less than 4 days. Because not everyone only sees your bad side though. Haha bye

Bila batuk, teringin la makan ice cream

Assalamualikum.

   Teringat masa zaman Form 3 ke Form 4, time tu it was dua-tiga bulan sebelum bulan puasa. Kalut la nak ganti puasa kan. Pastu, satu hari tu aku ganti la puasa. Sekali dekat sekolah, dorang buat Hari Koperasi pulak. Menangis aku tak dapat makan free food. Though it was just an ice cream.

  Kalau hari koperasi, selalunya dorang bagi free ice cream. Jadi yang puasa macam aku tak dapat la makan. Tapi dulu zaman tak mengerti lagi kot. Tak mengerti hukum hakam agama sangat. Tapi serious, dulu ingatkan kalau diberi rezeki makanan, kena buka puasa hahaha. Sorry, tak tahu apa apa. Masih lagi dahaga ilmu.

  So, mesti la I wanted the ice cream tu, konon nak buka puasa lagi lagi hari tu cuaca panas terik. Merayu dekat kawan-kawan nak ice cream tapi tak dapat sebab mostly dorang tahu I puasa. Sebab si Haaziq komplot dgn gang dia, bagitau semua "jangan bagi Azhani makan ice cream harini. Dia puasa. Dia menangis ke merangkak ke, biar kan" fuh hati time tu jatuh sakit. Tinggal nak call ambulance je. Eh tak lawak.

 Yang lagi best. Ada jugak la dua tiga kawan, tegur cakap tahan je lah puasa tu, nak buat macam mana. Pastu si Haaziq dan lain pulak jahat tayang dekat orang yang dia dpt makan ice cream. Ada yang dapat makan 2 sebab one of it was mine. Pergh, paneh rasa.
  Last last kena tahan je laa. Takkan tak tahan kot, haha. Esok tu tak puasa, bila time rehat, tiga kawan belanja ice cream. Ingat lagi, dorang perli suruh makan ice cream banyak banyak. Tu kalut pulak la nak habiskan ice cream. Haha 
  Haih my high school memories. Rindu jugak sekolah though I don't really miss the people there :)